Very fat dead loved ones will require specialist handling, we recommend that the bereaved do it to spare our elderly staff the bother.
We have a hoist available and other industrial strength lifting equipment.
If a large corpse causes too much of a problem we can rent you a chainsaw for dividing the body into easy to manage pieces. Please don't leave large lumps in the sluice.
If your dearly departed has been left in their house a little too long they must be placed in our dedicated Stinker fridge at the back of our self service mortuary room, follow the signs.
Cadavers left in the fridge for too long will need to be collected and cleaned up by the bereaved and not just left to rot further, Tracheotomy is for that. There are always staff on hand to give advice via mobile phone as we don't like the smell, saying that, we can to do the job for an extra £350 or so using our equally stinking operative Brian.