Non-dead.

LIVING

WILLS

Being dead is a great opportunity for you to give your money and belongings to the ones you love. But many people still believe that death is not going to happen to them and don't bother to make a will, if you too think you're eternal, think again.
Tenpasenta Budget Funerals in association with Tenpasenta Afterlife, have launched a special living Will service only for our Budget customers, these wills are free of charge* and guarantee whatever little valuables you have are distributed fairly and legally to your chosen recipients.
Catalogue your disposables and let us do the rest.

*10% of bequeathed value payable to the
Tenpasenta Church 5 days after death.

PETS

The death of a relative can leave more than just a funeral to arrange, it could leave their once loved pet homeless. There are some charities that will take this awkward inheritance off your hands, but is this really what your dead relative wanted? These much loved pets were expected to be in your home, no questions asked, and with no cash left for years and years worth of their food, what a pain!
We offer the ideal solution for you, their pet will be in your home as they wanted, but the expense of food and trouble of walking a dog will be out the window!
In association with the Beijing animal rescue group, we can turn those unwanted pets into novelty foot mats, and at only £175 each it's a fantastic bargain, no longer attracting fleas just moth.
No harm will come to the unwanted pet, just a very large dose of Sodium thiopental that will finish them off, the rest of the rug making process is painless.
Book now.