Cremation pyres Southampton

CREMATION

PYRE

All Budget cremations take place at the far end of our self storage warehouse car park daily from 11am.
We have space for 12 cremations at once, so bring some friends along and join the fun.
The deceased can be cremated in a painted or natural Budget cardboard box, any unpainted wooden coffin, naked or wrapped in a shroud of your choice. To be honest we feel it's a shame to burn a good quality cardboard box as they could be put to better use at home up in the loft or on top of the wardrobe for extra storage.
We do not officially accept bodies for cremation from the boot of a saloon car during daylight hours, ring for details about this service and heavy costs involved.
We supply enough wood for a three hour burn, extra wood is available for £10 per bundle, enough for a further 30 minutes, please don't bring any treated wood like fencing, this is not acceptable due to it's high smoke production. Swan Vesta kitchen matches are available at only £3 per box, feel free to bring your own combustibles, petrol can be added with caution, just watch your eyebrows, NO diesel.


A typical funeral pyre can be seen above, we adhere to the strict rules laid out by the Ganges municipal pyre building council of India. £400

Brian spreading some human ashes in our neighbours garden.

Ashes can be spread by our resident grave digger Brian whilst he is wearing a smart suit if requested, we only charge £15, and this is just to cover his hefty shoe cleaning bills. Our spreading service is a very popular choice with those who worry about ash blow back themselves.
If you wished to keep the ashes for some morbid reason, we have a wide selection of Budget urns available from only £10.
Because of the very large amount of ash left over from a pyre cremation, we suggest you pick out your own selection of the remains for us to spread or for you to keep, the remaining ashes are brushed into Southampton water at high tide, if you feel this is a good option for your loved ones remains, let us know, and we'll charge you £20 for the privilege of watching.

SHRUBBERY

We offer a "shrubbery" option where we can spread all of the cremated remains over a large area, this is allowed to become wild and overgrown.
This really is a beautiful way to lay your loved ones remains to rest that doesn't cost a fortune. Only £200.
As a side note we'd like to point out that council crematoriums may say they will spread the ashes in a "shrubbery", which sounds nice, but in reality they just bury bags full once a month in a common grave, so it pays you to pay us, at least you get honesty.

Budget premium ash spreading area, pure class.

SHROUD

Thanks to finding some old stock, you can now buy our fabulous pure Nylon golden funeral shrouds. These hand boxed shrouds will give any Budget cremation a truly Premium look for five minutes, at only £35 these £10 items will also enhance the burning effect of the pyre by being highly flammable themselves, the box may just be big enough for your choice of the remaining ashes, becoming a splendid urn, a great two in one product.
To enhance that premium look, why not buy some cardboard cutout flowers, we have a wide selection starting at only £5.99.

REMAINS

We kindly ask that patrons ensure that their loved one is fully cremated before going home.
There has been occasion when loved ones have been left it a partly cremated state, this is very annoying because it means we have to finish off the job. The expense of petrol and wood will be billed to the departed ones relatives, we will go through the civil court process to reclaim these costs. The fact that it may only be a couple of pounds, and a couple of hours burning, is irrelevant, it's just a pain in the arse. We offer Premium funerals from only £500, so give that a thought before plumping on a pyre funeral and buggering off.
Cleaning up a partial cremation is £200, we will also jump about on the remains for a while, we don't care who they are.

SMOKE

One thing that many Budget cremation customers forget is the bloody awful stink and clouds of smoke produced by the funeral pyre (but to be honest can smell quite like a barbecue once your fuel has burned off). We offer the very best protective equipment available for your nose.
Our entry level offering is one of those dust masks that Chinese people wear at the slightest sign of dust or swine flu, only £1.50 each
For the main stoker a military grade mask and visor is advisable, this will cost £15 rental for the day, additional filters are available from only £4.50 each.
Protecting your own clothes from the smoke is your own problem, we don't recommend mourners come in rented suits, they could lose their deposits.