Budget Burial

BURIAL

PREFABRICATED

Our Budget cemetery has been constructed to offer great value for money, not only for us, but for you, and at only £400 per loculus for a 10 year lease, you really can't go wrong.
Visitors have been seen walking around open mouthed at its beauty, kids love to peek into the gaps, and pets are welcome dead or alive.
This Budget facility was opened in 1984 and named after the Aboriginal God Wutachytole, the God of lethargy. Many of the older chambers are becoming available on a daily basis, but if you prefer a newly built chamber that is not a problem, however the views are not so pleasant from these areas.
Why not join 75,000 others who have chosen Wutachytole as their place to decompose in peace.

You can reserve your own interment chamber or guarantee a family area by just leaving a £45 non-refundable deposit on each chamber required, this deposit will secure your choice for one year, and can be renewed annually. Our skilled craftsmen are adding new prefabricated vaults every night, but when we reach 100,000 units that will be the end of construction on this very exclusive site.

1 YEAR DEALS AVAILABLE!

Remember we now offer Ultra Budget burials for the really tight fisted. £150 buys one year’s burial in the Wutachytole cemetery.
You will be asked to renew the burial contract before the first year is up, or collect your loved one on our annual Disinterment day held every August Bank holiday. What you do with the body after Disinterment day collection is your business, but please don't leave the remains by our bins.
The chances are that the body may not be as decomposed as you'd expected, ignorance is no excuse to abandon your loved one's corpse on Disinterment day, and after all, you've had a year to do some research.
Uncollected bodies will be turned into poor quality swill and sold to our local organic pig farmer, who does not follow health departments guidelines as closely as he should.

MODERN

Progress on our new high rise burial chambers is going very well.
This facility is aimed at those not wishing to pay for a woodland burial, but are not prepared to be laid to rest in our Wutachytole above ground cemetery.
For a limited time we are taking advanced bookings only for Tenpasenta Afterlife plan holders, with a special introductory rate of only £1000 for a 30 year lease instead of the standard 25 years.
Our burial chambers are built over three levels:
Level G: is for heavy or large bodies*.
Level 1: is for normal sized bodies*.
Level 2: for small or elderly frail bodies*.
You can choose a top level 2 chamber for a large or heavy body, but you have to carry it up there yourself.
Check below for our range of stunning facing "stones" from Wickes kitchen range.
Open to the general public from mid-2011 or late 2012 or later.

*Weight and size including coffin.

To keep within your Budget we have teamed up with Wickes D.I.Y. to provide you with an exclusive opportunity to front your loved ones burial chamber at an affordable price.
We have work tops in our kitchen that date back to 2007, and the idea came to us of using Laminate Kitchen Work tops as chamber fronts which we expect to be just as durable as real stone outdoors at the fraction of the price. Not tested.

HOME

Many people are still unaware of the fact that you can bury a body in your own garden, a loophole used by many if not all Green/woodland burial sites.
The rules are:
1/ a lawful certificate of the cause of death, they must register their death with the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages.
2/ a body comes within the definition of "clinical waste" and as such cannot be disposed of except under the provisions of the Control of Pollution Act 1974 and the Environment Protection Act 1990. Basically not within certain distances of water sources etc.
3/ you must own or have permission to use private land, it must also be added to the title deeds of the house, better to shock a prospective buyer in writing before they buy, than scare them shitless as they dig their new swimming pool.
That's it!
Of course digging a six foot deep hole could be a nuisance, especially for the bone idle or elderly. We offer a personal domestic grave digging service, if your garden has good access we can use one of our fleet of grave excavators, for only £150. If you require a hand dug grave this can be arranged for only £220 or so, depending on the soil, you really can't go wrong, you will even get the chance to meet Brian and find out why we can't stand him.
If you wish to erect a headstone however, you will require planning permission from the council, they like any excuse to get your money, terrible way to run a business in our opinion.